Anyone who doesn't love her is just jealous of her

Happy Birthday, Jen!  As I walked into your party tonight, I introduced myself to your fabulous brother.  I quickly began to gush about how much I love you, how glad I am that you take time to be my friend, and just how much better life is with you around.  He retorted, "Anyone who doesn't love Jen is just jealous of her."  You're so amazing that it should be easy to be jealous of you, but I can't think of anyone who doesn't just love you, Jen!  I've decided that the reason why I love you is not JUST because you're smart, beautiful, capable of running a VERY LARGE country (and feeding everyone therein with ease), incredibly interesting, an amazing mother, and fun to talk to; but also because you have an incredible ability to empathize.  Somehow amidst all that you have going on, when I call, you take the time to listen, avoid judgement, and reiterate what I'm feeling back to me with more clarity.  You're willing to walk with me down emotional paths that are funny, stressful, or desperately sad, and I feel safe with you there because you've been there too (or at least you make it seem that way)!  That is the essence of empathy.   You are an amazing woman, Jen.  Thanks for being my friend. 

I really am very fond of you, Jen, and hopefully you already knew that. But you may not know exactly why, and I think I have pinpointed it: it's your warmth, your kindness, your patience with children (young and old!), and your ability to make me feel like a welcome, old friend whenever we are together.

On this, the 40th anniversary of your birth, may you reflect on warm memories of loved ones in happy scenes, and may your next 40 bring you all the joy and happiness you have so richly earned. My regret is that I will not be there to share in the moment, but I will look forward to our next visit and opportunity to celebrate all that is Jen.

With love, plus a smattering of diet coke and warm cakes-
Tom

Ditto!

Jen,

I have had so much fun reading the tributes from your friends and family. I must say there is way too much pressure for posting a clever blog for one of the most clever people I know. I wrote this rather serious and lame tribute, and then I read what Sunny wrote. It included the same sentiments, only much funnier. So lets just say "ditto".
You truly are one of the smartest, talented, most amazing people I know. I am so grateful to be counted among your friends, and I have learned so much from being your friend. Whether it is chatting about books, movies, politics, gospel doctrine, art history or the latest celebrity gossip, you always have some fun tidbit to share. I so admire your ability to remember anything and everything and to communicate your point of view so convincingly. But really Jen what I most admire about you, is your loyalty. You have been a true friend for 22 years--through bad perms, hard missions, crazy European travels, graduate school, marriage, motherhood, and just being grown-ups. Through it it all you have been willing to forget the little squabbles and serve as the glue that has kept "the Gals " together for so many years. I wish so much I could be there today to celebrate with you! Jen, may you have very Happy Birthday and may we enjoy many more years of friendship.

Love, Sal

Happy Birthday Jen!

Jen~
It has been a pleasure getting to know you. I love how passionate you are about your beliefs, gospel and otherwise. I think you have a great attitude about getting things done and being efficient about it and I hope to learn more from you and continue to be inspired! Here are a few adjectives I would use to describe you. Authentic, busy, articulate, fun, vibrant, refreshing, effusive and enthusiastic!
Love,
Rose

If I had a million dollars...

Jen,
We are exceedingly fond of you. If we had a million dollars (plus) this is what we would give you for your birthday:
1. A vacation apartment across the street from the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
2. Lunch for the whole family with Barack Obama twice a year.
3. And, per our recent conversation, a month on a large estate in England where you take walks, read books, ride horses, eat lovely meals prepared by other people, and have your own personal hair curler wait-person.
We wish you all this and more!
Love,
Rebecca and Lars

Jen, the Master Teacher

When I grow up, I want to be Jen. I admire you for your wisdom, honesty, integrity, and ever-fresh perspective on life. I have so much to learn from you. I feel very lucky to have been able to enjoy your teaching, in particular, in the past two years--first in YW, and now in our gospel doctrine class.
You are such a gifted teacher! You think creatively and deeply, and talk FAST--because yes, your brain moves that fast, and you tell a gripping story. To make things even better, I am usually able to follow along because of the visual component you include--those lists on the blackboard are riveting... And I never have to feel bad because you have fancy visual aids or frou frou handouts or decorative items. Just your flashes of brilliance, at lightning speed...

I admire you for following your convictions, for being a fantastic Mom, for invariably having thoughtful and wise things to say, and for expressing those thoughts graciously. Thanks for being willing to let us peek into the express lane of your brain on Sundays... I know I can never be you, but it sure is fun to watch you doing it!

Robin Baker

I wish I still had my BYU library card so I could post it and show the world that we are secretly twins. (Remember being in some kind of pinch to check out books at the library and having to use my card, convincing the guy at checkout that it was really you in the picture?) OK, so even though we don't exactly pass for identical twins, I would consider it an honor to at least have you as a sister. And in every way except for biology, I feel we are.

Jen, you are an amazing person. And I'm not just saying that because it's your birthday, although I'm glad to have something motivating me to sit down and say some things that I'm absolutely sure I've never said to you before. One of the things I like about you is that you are one of those incredibly bright, perceptive people who can always come up with something witty and clever to say, but at the same time is not condescending or snobby. Instead of making those around you—like me at least—feel intimidated by your knowledge (and how do you know so much about everything, anyway?!), you instead make us feel like we're clever and smart, too (at least by virtue of being your friend)! You always keep conversations interesting and fun. You've got style, grace, and taste, and—even more importantly—you have substance. You have great wisdom about life and the gospel. Not only do I know you'd be the perfect person to turn to as my "phone a friend" if I were ever on Millionaire, but I also know if I ever phoned you with a problem or during a time of frustration you'd be able to offer sage advice, and probably make me laugh, too. (In fact, that said, maybe I'll put you on my phone list and actually do it!) I wish we saw more of each other and were able to have that kind of contact. I'm sure my life would be richer because of it.

I got married too darn early and didn't get to have as much time to live with "the gals" as some of the others, but I am so grateful for the time I did have, and I know it would not have been the same without you. I'm pretty sure it's your fault, for instance, that I watched so much of Anne of Green Gables during finals week in the blue house, gushing over Gilbert instead of poring over textbooks! I mean, I'm all over escapism, but since I'm more of the stressing Twinkies variety (I think that was Sally's expression?!) that one would not have occurred to me in a million years.

Well, I'm sure you've heard this one before, but here's a little quote for you by Abraham Lincoln: "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." From what I know of you, and as is even more clearly evident from reading what others have written about you in this blog, you are definitely LIVING your life, and blessing those that come into it along the way. I hope this year is a wonderful one! Love, Heidi

(By the way, for others who may view the photos I'm including and wonder, I used to HATE feet, so Jen and Jen posed for the feet-on-the-face photo and sent it to me on my mission—a definite highlight of my mission mail!)

What more can I say?

Reading through all the other entries it is hard to imagine that I could have anything to add. None of my thoughts are unique to me and have all been said better by all – Jen is amazing, kind, wise, thoughtful, charitable, dedicated, interesting, enjoyable, enlightening, a lot of fun, hard working, uplifting, educated and educational, a friend to all, and the sort of person you wish to be around. It is for all of that and more that she is the sort of person I want to be like. Everyone needs a Jen in their life, and we are all lucky to have the real McCoy. Unfortunately, living so far away, I get far too little time and interaction with Jen. By the looks of this blog, there are a lot of people that would like more time with Jen.

Not being able to say it more cleverly than directly.... I love you! Happy 40th Birthday!

Your brother,
David

Jen the Therapist

I'm grateful to have a friend like Jen that could probably get me through any challenging life event by just listening and giving me her advice. Several times in the past few years Jen has come to my rescue by giving me strength to move forward with what I had ahead. Thank goodness she went through the twin phase before me. I don't think there was anyone who gave me a clearer picture of what I had ahead with a twin pregnancy and a move all at once. As we talked about breastfeeding twins I remember her saying, "Just remember, you don't have to be a hero." Once we got to our temporary home in Rexburg, I spent many hours on the phone with Jen as she kept me in the loop about what was going on with friends and ward members in Boston. Somehow, I needed that link as I set up a new support system so far away. Then again, as our twins were 8 months old and I found out there was another baby on the way I remember Jens exact words as I told her over the phone, "Oh honey, we'll get through this...somehow we'll make it through." She again gave me a glimpse of what would be ahead with the twins as this baby was born. I honestly believe Jen has been one of my angels through these experiences. The great thing is, I know I am only one of many who has benefited from Jen Thomas' skill as a therapist. Thank you Jen! Have a wonderful Birthday. Wish we could be there to celebrate with you at the Hopkins (instead, we'll be glued to the BYU/Utah game). My heart is there!

Happy Birthday from the Blue House at BYU - 1988

I met Jen during our Freshmen year at BYU. When we first met, I remember being fascinated by her eloquence in describing an event or debating her side of an argument. We shared a love for Diet Coke, Anne of Green Gables and Art History. I think I also have to credit her with lighting my passion for children's literature. Through all our years at BYU, before and after missions and studing abroad, she was a mentor to me, always believing in me and encouraging me. To this day I fear I received more than I gave. I applaud all that has already been posted on this blog about you. It is certainly all true, and I feel so honored to count you as a friend.
love, Ann

Happy Birthday Jen! I'm glad you're turning 40...it's given me an opportunity to remember all the things I love about you, the memories, the laughs, the playdates, the yummy meals, etc.

Reasons I'm glad I lived near you...
Pasta Amatriciana (still in nearly weekly rotation)
Alex's very first playgroup (Walker and Zack)
"It is a wonderful thing to start life with a few good books you can call your very own." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)...Sara's book shower
Teaching me what it means to be a visiting teacher (I still remember the heart shaped pasta you brought me in Feb...I thought of you 2 days ago as I dropped off a goodie to my gals)
Showing me what to do when your child swipes a cookie at the bakery (you buy it, and then throw it in the trash).
HOURS of park playdates
Making me feel better about the state of my minivan with the story of trying to get your van detailed ("maybe time for vacuum?")
Being a stalwart, non-fake-cheery, non-prying friend during my summer of loss
Instilling in me the desire to go to Italy (so glad we finally went, but wished you were there to explain all the art!!)
The Aristocrats
Teaching me to make homemade pasta at Enrichment
Stirring my curiosity about IKEA
Alex's first friend (and he still says, "Mom, when can we visit Walker Thomas again?")
Introducing me to Iggy's (still crave it)
Giving me a place to exercise my academic mind (when it still functioned at all...)
Telling me how to get Alex through Harry Potter 4 (it worked--thanks!)
Possession
Swooning with me about Mr. Darcy
Henry Bear's Park
In general, showing me how to be a mom, while mining Boston for all it had to offer.

Reasons I wish I lived closer now...
Food (shared meals, meals out together, swapped recipes)
Books (I will get you on Goodreads if it's my last move as your friend)
Your unthinking generosity
Your honest opinion/advice
Your unflinching wit (sometimes you just need to laugh so hard you pee)
Your friendship

But the most pressing reason I wish I lived closer...
I want to come to your party! I wish I could be there, but I'm sure it will be fabulous...just like the gal it's for.

Love Katie

Jen, a Kindred Spirit

We all have different friends who hook into our lives in different ways at different times: the friend you can hang out with, the friend who expands your vision and capabilities, the friend you take shopping, the friend you lean on in crisis, the friend who joins you to take in the world's beauty, the friend who helps you process life, the friend whose shoulder is there to cry on. In the 11 years I've known Jen, I think she may be a friend who has, remarkably, at some point or another, been each of those friends for me.

We clicked initially, back in the day, as "the few, the proud" working professional gals in our ward. When Jen conceived Walker (and I conceived Eleanor), I already had two children, and I remember our first deep conversations pivoted on the prospects and pitfalls of trying to "have it all." Our friendship put on a full bud in those days.

I will never forget the day Jen dropped by with a powder pink infant's bubble playsuit with peter pan collar in the weeks before Eleanor was due. The sweet femininity of the gift jolted me; I had forgotten, with all the stress and worry of expecting a baby with congenital defects, that after all, I was having a little girl (after two boys), and could look forward to all the loveliness a little girl in the family would offer. How perceptive was the timing and nature of that gift.

I can relate to Jen's brother Jonathan when he moans that he is poorer financially for having known Jen. It's Jen's fault that I'm ill-contented with bread from anywhere but Iggy's, produce from anywhere but Russo's. Jen showed me the way to Freddie Farkels and lent me my first Ina Garten cookbook. Is it any wonder some of our laughs have been based on our shared cross of living with champagne tastes on a beer budget. She knows I will emphatically ratify her decision to blow the bank on two really good chairs in no-mistakes-allowed upholstery in a house otherwise outfitted in kid-friendly IKEA, because we both know that a thing expensive is a joy forever. Sometimes, a girl can put on a brave face with just a few pieces of bona-fide Ethan Allen in the house.

Jen's wisdom beyond her years is well-documented. When I was on the rack about whether or not to have a 4th child, Jen, effortlessly, galvanized the issue for me one day. "If you have a 4th, will you feel done?" I said yes. "There's your answer." Gemma, our 4th, will be 5 in April.

Jen's been good counsel in times of crisis. Many tender conversations had in her Watertown apt living room and on the floor in her Belmont playroom, babies crawling over us, have righted my boat and sent me with fresh bravery on my way. She's helped me keep long-term perspective while I've weathered the ups and downs of a husband's career in academia; she's calmed me through the nuanced stress of purchasing real estate from ward members; she's helped me be sturdy and stoic through social wounds.

Jen expands my thinking. She's constantly foisting books on me. I drug around her copy of The Aristocrats (500 pages in tiny print on the minutae of 18th century domesticity) from Utah to Cape Cod one summer until when I finally finished it, it was so shabby I couldn't give it back to her and had to order her a new one. As she predicted, I loved it. Ditto, "Monarch of the Glen," the Whitney Museum, "Raising Geeks", and a dozen other recommendations she's passed on over the years, which I have taken and found to be rare finds.

I'm only just recently discovering Jen's extraordinary talent as a Gospel Doctrine teacher. I keep a tiny notebook in my scriptures of the very best, most profound and moving ideas I hear in church. The book has begun to burst from Jen quotes. Our family home evenings lessons have begun to be miniature versions of the Gospel Doctrine class Jen taught the previous week, with a game and a few visuals thrown in. My kids think I thought up "pure gold fears no fire." If they only knew--it's a Jen-ism (which she actually credits to her mother, but still). I could quip a dozen more gems just like it.

This last week, Jen talked a bit about "native gifts" in Sunday School. As I listened to her with my usual weekly feelings of amazement, I thought that this woman at the front of the room exemplifies native gifts. She nurtures them and shares them generously with all. I love her very much, and look forward to many more years of a burnishing friendship. Happy Birthday, sweetJen.

Felicitous Genesis Day!!

Dearest Jen,

Of all the people I have ever known (and I dare guess  most everyone celebrating wonderful you on this momentous birthday would concur) YOU have the most mellifluous vocabulary.  In honor of this fact, I wanted to leave you the following birthday message:

You J are sagacious far beyond your senectitude.  Yet you have ever had and will ever have an unparagoned pubescence of spirit to make you the indefectible concomitant for even the most sprightly moppet (a fact which your mothering life proves daily).  

Your gift for communication is devoid of pleonasm and the flummadiddle, balderdash, bilge, blatherskite, bushwa, malarkey, pishposh, poppycock and twaddle of charlatans.  Instead, your locutions whelm with sapience, perspicacity, gumption and veridicality.   Your cerebrum and cerebellum are astute, acute, keen, adroit and ingenious.  

As a friend you are never contumacious or lubricious.  Rather, you are dependably dinki-dy, equable, allegiant and resolute.  Because of your ability to detect drollery in any predicament, in your presence lugubrious or doleful sentiments are fugacious and ephemeral. Your prowess in the social arena makes you a fitting compeer for aristo or commonage.  You harbor a cuore d'oro.  You are eleemosynary, complaisant and clement.  You are a paragon of a friend.

With love and loyalty without quantum or apportionment,

Pargie

Happy Birthday, Mom -- From William

I love you, Mom. You are so nice to me.

You take me everywhere. You let me play on the computer so many times.

I love you, Mom. You are good at helping me do my homework. You help me on hard things that I need to do.

You are good at math and you are good at science. You took me to Disneyworld. You help me to work hard.

I love you, William

Happy Birthday, Mom -- From Walker

I love you so much that it covers me all over with it, and I never stop thinking about you day and night.

You are an amazing cook and are so good at cleaning other peoples messes. Even if you sigh or grumble a little, I love you to the ends of the earth and think you are the most beautiful person ever.

You are also a very spiritual woman and help me to choose the right and help me to understand the things that I need most in life.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Walker

When I first read Heather's entry, my thought was, "Jen is MY friend...where did all these other friends come from?!? Well, I obviously know that she has many friends who love her just as much as I do. But the sad reality is that I wish I had the opportunity to live near Jen again, be a part of her everyday life and have her kids call me 'Auntie Cammy'. I must say, since I have yet to meet her twins, I thought they might be a figment of my imagination...but YES, the do exist thanks to pictures Mike posted on this blog, and they are as cute as ever Jen!

As for Jen and I, our friendship began when Jen was my faithful visiting teacher at the Y.  I knew we'd be friends when she shared Lisbeth Zwergers' Gift of the Magi with me--already one of my favorites. We would later become roommates post study-abroads and missions. I really don't think anyone had as much fun doing "nothing" like how we did at BYU. But for Jen and I, our friendship was really sealed when we both moved to the Big Apple. I was kinda a newly wed and Jen was hanging out with us at my in-laws while we both tried to find apartments. Marc and I eventually found a place, the cheapest we could find, for about $850 a month. It was a steal. For reasons I cannot remember Jen for some reason became our driver (no big surprise now) and drove us in our U-Haul to the city to move into our apartment. At the time I was scared stiff to move to Manhattan and both her and Marc had to force me into the middle seat so I wouldn't jump out and run back to preppy, safe Connecticut. When we arrived at our new apartment, it was filthy--covered in cat hair and fleas and smelling of cat wee wee. After we moved the boxes in and got back into the U-Haul my ankles were covered with flea bites. I started crying. I ranted and raved about hating NYC and not wanting to live there. "The apartment was terrible, etc. etc. etc." At this pivotal pity-party moment as we sat in the truck on 90th street, Jen launched her stern reproach letting me know I was acting like a baby and I needed to grow up and face reality. Can you just hear Jen? I had never had anyone yell at me like that other than my mom and sisters! Marc will always be indebted to you for that day! And I too remember that knowing only a true friend can do that! Thanks, babe.

Well, that was just the beginning of two great years in NYC with Jen and more in Boston. I love Jen on so many levels, for the many things we have in common to the things I wish I could do to be more like her. 

Jen, I am sending you this "Keep Calm and Carry On" necklace. When I saw this I had to get it for the sentiment and for you and some of the other gals' England connection. However, you cannot keep it! You wear it to help you and for your kids to see you wearing it! But in a few months time you need to send it to one of the gals who may need it. It will be our 'sisterhood of the traveling necklace!' You are the first recipient since you, well..., are old. :)

I love you Jen, have a wonderful birthday. I wish I could be there! I put my vote in too for Jen for President--that would be an easy decision!

Love, Cammy

Favorite recent Jen quote: "I tell my boys they need to marry smart, sturdy women!"

If I could just live next door to Jen...

Jen and I met the first week of our freshman year at BYU. A friendship, that has had such a profound influence on me, that it could never be attributed to happenstance. Jen became the ring leader of a group of friends that I subsequently lived with for the next several years - before and after study abroads, missions, and many, many semesters in Provo. I truly attribute the fact that I still call 'the gals' my closest friends (despite our living all over the country) to Jen. Her loyalty and dedication to our friendship taught all of us what it meant to be a good friend and what the sweet rewards are for having such friendships in our lives.

One of my happiest memories of being with Jen was right after we graduated we went on a trip through western Europe. We met Jen in Italy, where she had been TAing a study abroad. When we met up with Jen, she was sun tanned and rested (I know Jen - it's hard to remember a time when those words were used to describe a time in your life, but it was you -I've got other witnesses), looking so good and so in her element. She chattered away in what to us sounded like native Italian, introduced us to the best foods to eat and hidden treasures to see. Nobody can bring a work of art alive and interesting like Jen can. Whether we were seeing a Caravaggio in a small, less frequented church or taking a tour of the vatican, when Jen started expaining the art, other people would come over to listen and start asking her questions.

Something that I knew back then, but definitely know now, is that it wasn't just being in Italy, it was seeing Italy through Jen's eyes. She has proven since then to be a magnificent tour guide and hostess in other cities over the years. The combination of her knowledge and ability to express her ideas and thoughts, make being with her interesting and fun regardless of where we are. That is why one of my tucked away and hidden desires is to be Jen's neighbor. Logistically, I'm pretty sure its never going to happen, however, I know wherever it was, it would become a much more interesting place being there with Jen. To be able to regularly process everything from raising kids to politics with Jen I know would prove to be informative, insightful and funny. However, there are many miles between Belmont and Highland, so if not next door neighbors, I am still imensely grateful for our phone calls, quick visits and the enduring closeness we have had for over 20 years.

I love you Jen and wish you the happiest of birthdays!

Love,

Hillary Pugh

Jen for President

I’ve been thinking about Jen a lot lately. Not so much because of the milestone birthday but because of the presidential elections. When I heard Sarah Palin speak, my first thought was, “My friend Jen Thomas could run circles around this woman.” For that matter, I think our country would do well if Jen were in the oval office. The dinner parties and Christmas decorations would be exquisite.

Not only that, Jen could outdebate most of the people we’ve seen on national television this year. She knows where the Middle East is. She’s even a former UN delegate. And she’d just get right down to Jen Thomas-like business and have the schools and health care systems whipped into shape. If only our country could be as well organized and run as a Jen college roommates reunion. And wouldn’t she look splendid with Mike and the boys in the rose garden?

If Jen never becomes president, I have another idea for her post-mother-of-young-children job: travel guide. Jen and I met on London Study Abroad, and we had so much fun we went back to Europe with friends after we graduated. Europe is one big story, from sleeping in a stranger’s family bedrooms after a mixed up pensione reservation to packing a piazza with the citizens of Florence while they sang Verdi’s Nabucco in a solidarity opera after the bombing of the Uffizi.

A favorite though, is our quest to see the Bernini sculptures in the Galleria Borghese. We ended up lost in an underground parking lot. We finally found a door and opened it up to sunlight above. Ahh, this must be the way. The door shut with a fateful clank, and when we climbed up the stairs we found that we were in the middle-- I’m talking infield--of a horse track. We tiptoed across the track and exited under the bewildered gaze of Italian racing fans. This doesn’t typify Jen’s skill as travel guide but as adventurer, all-round good sport, and fun travel companion. As travel guide, Jen was so full of info about European art, history, food, and all the other good stuff, we probably should have paid her.

Jen and I haven’t lived close to each other since college. I am so jealous of Boston friends who get to be with her all the time. But I am so happy with every chance I get to see her. She is such a great person to talk with about politics and travel, and also religion, art, books, (New England Mobile Bookstore—yippee), movies, getting a job, getting an education, husbands (esp. from Bountiful), buying a house, women’s health (ai yai yai), twins, parent-teacher interviews, spit up, and snot.

I count it an immense blessing to have Jen for a friend. She is kind and thoughtful, loyal and patient, witty and intelligent, creative and fun. She’s also forgiving, considering that I introduced her to mountain biking by taking her to the Slick Rock trail in Moab and on another occasion lost Walker in a museum.

I love you Jen and wish you all the best on your birthday, and wish that if our husbands’ (gotta get the apostrophe right on that one, and thank you Jen for appreciating my nerdy editing humor) career paths never bring us to the same city, then maybe you could hire me as a speech writer and the rest of the gals as cabinet members someday.

Much love, Sunny

P.S. Has anyone mentioned the Halloween story about dressing up like patriots? That is classic Jen.

Jen's Jubilee: Dan and Stevie Wonder Celebrate With Song

"It is difficult to be religious, impossible to be merry, at every moment of life, but festivals (and 40th birthdays!) are as sunlit peaks, testifying above dark valleys to the eternal radiance." Clement A. Miles

I see your milestone birthday as a kind of festival to be celebrated, Jen. A Jubilee, if you will. And it testifies to the eternal radiance of your life.

You are such a wonderfully unique combination of sweetness and brightness. My montage of Jen memories include scenes in many places from Salt Lake to Boston, but all of them involve you shining in some way. Your kindness, graciousness, and general brilliance stood out every time.

Since I won't be there to celebrate this grand festival with you in person, I want to make use of technology to join with Stevie Wonder in singing Happy Birthday to you.

May this song become the anthem of your 40th birthday. And may you feel the warmth of the eternal radiance you've helped so many of us feel--and the love and celebration in our song.

Turn up your speakers, please, and click on the link below. (Or paste the url in your browser if necessary.) Get ready to dance. Picture Stevie and I getting up to sing. (A picture is provided to help you.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ1uSAxqUuc



You know it doesn't make much sense
There ought to be a law against
Anyone who takes offense
At a day in your celebration
Cause we all know in our minds
That there ought to be a time
That we can set aside
To show just how much we love you
And I'm sure you would agree
It couldn't fit more perfectly
Than to have a huge party on the day you came to be

Happy Birthday to You, Jennifer!!!

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered with much love by Dan Mortensen & Stevie Wonder

P.S. When Stevie sings at the inauguration in January, know that he sang here for you first.

Jen the Good Friend

One of my wholly unexpected but favorite aspects of full time mothering is the close bond I have with what I lovingly call my “inner circle.” Jen is part of that circle. She is a vibrant part of my life. She helps me remember that I can be a good mom without sacrificing my intellect. Almost daily, she reminds me to check in on the New York Times, so that I can keep up with the world. Without fail, she uses her wordsmith power to have me laughing so hard that I can barely breathe. She thinks. She acts on her thinking. She inspires me to be the kind of mother I so desperately want to be. When I think of Jen, I often think of the quote by Martha Hughes Cannon:

"Somehow I know that women who stay home all the time have the most unpleasant homes there are. You give me a woman who thinks about something besides cook stoves and wash tubs and baby flannels, and I'll show you, nine times out of ten, a successful mother."

As Jen cleans her house, does her dishes, washes her laundry (have you ever asked Jen how she does laundry? Wow.), Jen is thinking of something besides her current domestic chore. She is solving a public relations dilemma for the Church (be sure to ask her about it). She is planning her PTA’s potluck dinner. She is thinking of how to explain to Walker the intricacies of his latest science experiment. She is mulling over extremely difficult doctrinal points in preparation for her Gospel Doctrine class. Jen keeps her mind alive and has inspired me countless times to do the same.

Yet, beyond all of that intellectual stuff, Jen is a true friend. She brings me a large Diet Coke when I just can’t take it anymore. She calls to tell me something naughty that she just did. She helps me solve my stickiest problems in a logical and loving way. She is incredibly discreet and never reveals to anyone the horrible things I say. She watches my children in a pinch, without hesitation. She brings me food when I’m sick; and if you’ve never had Jen’s food, you’ve never lived. She always answers her phone when I call. She does all of these things and more.

I just love you, Jen. Thank you for reminding what a successful lady is. I’m your biggest fan.

Happy Birthday Jen!
I am sorry that I cannot be at the big birthday bash, but it is because I am performing in a production of "Jane Eyre." I know Jane Eyre is not Jane Austen, but similar genre (yes I know with the added gothic element), so I thought you would appreciate my reason for not being there. Jen, how glad I am to know you! Our mutual friend, Grant Madsen, who apparently knows us both fairly well, got it right when he guessed that you and I would be friends. You are someone whose opinion matters to me because of the power of your ideas. After I have a conversation with you, I often find myself contemplating the things you've said for awhile after. The passion that accompanies your ideas is also what makes you distinct; you are willing to act on your opinions. I've so enjoyed working alongside you in many different endeavors. Thank you for your excellent example of a "good way to be." I love your brain, and I love your friendship!
Margaret Busse

Jen Needs No Introduction…She Provides Them

My sister Jennifer is constantly introducing me to things. This blog dedicated to her is no exception (this is my first contribution to any blog). Words like “bling bling” and “peeps” I heard for the first time from her (and she was patient enough after laughing to offer a definition). Without her, I wouldn't know what it would be like to be "seriously so blessed." But on a more serious note, Jen has tutored me and shaped my intellect and testimony with concepts and ideas I never would have considered on my own.

But there is one introduction she provided that changed my life. As a freshman at BYU, Jennifer set me up on a blind date with a tall freshman named Jonathan Toronto that she had become acquainted with in her role as a Y group leader. We dated our freshman year, and then he served a mission in Toronto, Canada.

When Jonathan returned from his mission, Jennifer offered sage advice at a pivotal moment in my life. Having saved up a mission nest egg in my savings account, I struggled with the next step I should take. On June 13, 1992 (as recorded in my journal), I called my sister at her apartment in Provo and said through the tears, “I need your help.” Jen asked if I wanted her to take me home to SLC but I just wanted to talk. She took me on a long drive up the Provo canyon and through Heber and Midway. We talked about our family, our lives, and what we wanted in our future marriage.

During this and subsequent conversations, I confided in her about my confusion about whether to put my mission papers in or pursue my relationship with Jonathan. I wanted to do God’s will but I wanted Him to tell me what His will was. I worried that if I made the second best choice, that God may conclude I was not ready for the right choice and just support me in the alternate plan. I will never forget the amazing counsel she provided. The God she knew was not mean-spirited and vindictive. He loves us and wants the very best for us. I must make a decision and start acting upon that decision. If it isn’t the right choice, He will direct me through the Spirit until I arrive at the right choice.

I was engaged a month later. Jonathan and I have seven children and will enjoy our sixteenth wedding anniversary next month. Our daughter Camille Midgley Toronto bears her middle name in part because of my special sister—Jennifer Midgley Walker Thomas.

Happy Brithday from Dad

Jennifer,

Time passes quickly.

I recall Jennifer’s first afternoon at 97F Escondido village, Stanford University.

She and her mother arrived home from the hospital, and I was anxious to get to know my firstborn. Some say that babies don’t know what is going on. Don’t believe it. I held her on my lap and moved by head from one side to the other. Her eyes followed every turn. She was doing her best to check me out.

At the age of six months, she was making goofy sounds, better than a parrot. "What does a sheep say?," I’d ask. "Baa, baa," she’d say on cue. "What does the Indian say?" Jen would put her right hand over her mouth and give the syncopated war hoops of an Shoshone warrior. These were just few acts of her general repertoire.

At age nine months, she was using the words of a two-year-old. Bystanders would cautiously ask her age. "You say she’s nine months?" they said. We learned to live with arched eyebrows.
Jennifer was precocious. But not just with words and sounds. She liked to organize things. Family activities were a breeze. Just turn them over to Jen. As she grew older she liked to put together our family home evenings. She came to understand the need of placing her brothers and sisters in the spotlight.

I remember one family home evening devoted to the family budget. Her mother and I explained our income. She was delighted at such the princely sum! Then we explained the needs of the family—rent, utilities, gasoline, clothes, and the like. Each expenditure removed Monopoly dollars from the pot. When we finished, there wasn’t anything left—except a profound look on Jennifer’s face. She was processing information. From then on, Jennifer understood that her dad didn’t make much money. She put her needs in line with our hardscrabble times. As a teenager, she worked for her spending money.

I quickly learned that Jennifer’s will was not easily bent—she had a mind of her own. But Joseph Smith and Brigham Young had the right answer: Teach principles and let people govern themselves. Jennifer’s grand master in her life became herself. Because of the spirit within her, she made right decisions.

Jennifer’s example became a lodestar for her six brothers and sisters. As the first of our children, Jennifer had a great influence on the rest of our children, perhaps as important as Mom’s or Dad’s. One of the reasons that our children liked to read was because Jennifer liked to read. One of the reasons our children behaved themselves and gained testimonies of Jesus Christ was because Jennifer did these things. The reason our children went on missions was partly because Jennifer had set the right example. Each of our children had their own "goodness," but Jennifer helped them find it.

She greatly blessed our lives and our family.

We love her deeply—beyond the words to express them.

Now, as Jennifer reaches a milestone, I know that much fun and adventure lie ahead. I know this because so much fun and adventure lays at the foundation. The past is just the beginning.

Love,

Dad

Demystifying Jen

There is absolutely nothing I can say to add to the words already posted here, so there is only one option left to me: to subtract from them.

Your forty years on this earth have given you wisdom, grace, and charity. But, others have testified to that. I feel my duty is to remind you where those attributes came from. What are the formative experiences that made Jen the person she is today?

I remember the midnight antiperspirant fights before I was old enough to reflect on where our make-shift rapiers had been. Our friendship grew on the basis that we were both night-owls and the only two children sleeping downstairs. The battles between us never hit their stride until after midnight. We developed a keen sense of hearing for the floorboard creak of parental footsteps coming down the stairs.

I believe some of the wisdom you gained came when our parents left you in charge when they left town. Sure, we gave you a hard time and resented an authority-weilding sister. It was our job as younger siblings to kick against the pricks. But, you were not all innocent. Our parents came home from one trip to a hail-pocked car that was never supposed to leave the garage. Another time, they returned to a son with not one, but two broken arms. What would you expect from a kid climbing on the roof? (I am fully aware of the irony of me blaming this incident on you when he followed *me* up on the roof, so don't bother pointing it out.)

I fondly think about my frequent visits to your apartment at BYU where--though I was just a lowly freshmen--I was welcomed by both you and your dear friends. You graciously offered Sunday dinners. Who wouldn't accept? You learned to cook in Italy!

This, in turn, reminds me of when I visited you in New York and found myself heading the wrong way on the subway. Your mortified face suggested that I should have been more concerned about emerging in the more "dangerous" part of Harlem. Or that somehow it was very un-New York of me to walk uptown through the neighborhoods. You showed me around, introduced me to friends, and helped me experience the city as tourists never can.

We cannot forget the discussions that kept family members at the table long after a meal was digested. Discussions light from one topic to another addressing politics, art, spirituality, and culture. These discussions were always argumentative, opinionated, and humorous...and usually lightly seasoned with cynicism. You were always erudite, contrary, and--if I remember correctly--wrong.

Your impeccable taste can leave some intimidated. You can add sartorial style to the most bland human being (I may, or may not, be talking about myself), and can pull an accent together for interior design with alacrity. Put in plain English, you can very, very easily spend someone else's money.

All of this is true, to be sure, but I would like to remind you that in your youth you delivered newspapers? Being a "newspaper boy" may not have anything to do with acquiring a sense of style, but the image of a bespectacled girl throwing newspapers out of a 1979 Impala station wagon at six o'clock in the morning can demystify glamor in a palpable way.

As a parent, I know of no other person who realizes that her effort to keep her young boys from playing war are vain and so teaches them the Geneva Convention. If you must shoot your guns, you must never turn them on non-combatants. Surrender must be honored. Captivity must be humane. And yet, when you battle your sons, there is no question who the super-power is. Negotiations simple; terms are dictated. The perception-of-power is power.

I do have a grudge against you. You have been an example of generosity, kindness, and charity. Whether in poverty or comfort, you have always been giving and open. I have watched you give to a stranger, helped an acquaintance, and exhibited concern for the needy. Though I refuse to do an accounting, I am sure that attempting to follow your example has cost me a great deal of money and resources in my life.

For this reason (and many others), I pray that someday you will get what you deserve.

Happy Birthday, Friend!

The first time I saw Jen was at a baby shower shortly after I moved into the Weston 2nd Ward. She was in the kitchen busily preparing food and working as if it were her own party (she wasn’t even one of the hostesses). Little did I know it then, but that was quintessential Jen – always there to help in any and every way. She’s taught me more about dedicated service than just about anyone.

My next encounter with Jen was as she taught Gospel Doctrine in our ward. I hadn’t even realized that there were two classes in our ward until I overheard someone say, “Wasn’t Jen Thomas’s lesson today incredible?” The next week I was there and was powerfully touched by her poignant testimony and real-life application. As she taught, the scriptures became so vivid and approachable. She is a master teacher and I will jump at any chance to hear her speak or teach. She is always full of wit and wisdom.

A month or two after my arrival in the ward – I don’t think I had yet really had a chance to talk to Jen much – at yet another baby shower, I was charmed by Jen’s witty repartee. I remember chuckling on the way home at Jen’s description of how she was the type of person who would be completely at ease in a nineteenth century drawing room, but had few other practical skills. This, of course, is completely untrue (as everyone knows, the woman can do anything and be in command of any situation from Youth Conference food and activities, to playgroups, to coming up with remarkable business ideas which she should seriously put into practice one of these days), but I love the fact that she would be completely able to navigate the world of eighteenth-century high-society with impeccable good-breeding.

I was thrilled when we were called to serve the Boston Stake youth together. One of the greatest rewards of that calling was my friendship with Jen! I’ll never forget rattling along the freeway on the way to a meeting in “Ruby, the Consecrated Car” laughing until the tears ran down our faces (I think “chargers” were the trigger there?). I learned all I could ever learn about how to do church food from Jen. I loved her spiral-bound notebook lists. Her insights were always amazing. I loved being one of the technologically-challenged “dachshunds” with her.

I love you, Jen! You are a kindred spirit. I love that you read The Blue Castle four (or was it six?) times in one week. I love that you kept Jane Eyre from Netflix for months on end. I love knowing that you also felt like throwing up after reading about just how beautiful Edward Cullen is for the hundredth time in as many pages :). I love how you handle the stresses of life with grace and humor and that you are a "sturdy Mormon woman" -- you inspire me to try to be the same. I love how my Millie included your Will in her drawing of our family. I feel like you are family. With you I feel like I can say anything and that you get me and give me the benefit of the doubt. You have such a gift for friendship and I cherish mine with you.

I miss you, my dear, dear friend, and wish you the happiest of birthdays!
Much love,
Amy
It is a tragedy that I could not find a picture with you, but I love this picture of Will and Millie and didn't know if you had seen it.

Jen: Teacher Extraordinaire

Jen is one of the BEST teachers I have ever had. She always has the most profound comments in casual conversations (every time after Visiting Teaching her, I knew I was the one who got more out of the visit).

And, when it comes to an actual lesson? Gosh, there’s just nothing better than Jen teaching a Gospel Doctrine class, ok, any class in Church—the whole group laughs, they cry, and all leave spiritually well-fed.

Thank you for fascinating lessons and conversations. I love you, my friend.
Emily Clyde Curtis

Here's The Thing...

These are among my favorite three little words to hear as I answer my phone.  They tell me I am about to laugh so hard I just might forget the mind numbing pain I sometimes feel in my beloved role of mother to many little men and one little woman.  Jen's brief "Phone Vignettes," with their witty and articulate life lessons, deserve a spot on NPR all their own.  Between these narratives and her published and unpublished Op-Eds in the New York Times, Jen's voice rings with insight and encouragement for me throughout each day.

Since most of the things I love about Jen have already been mentioned (except her neuroticism with laundry... does anyone else sort into nine different categories including "camo" and light and dark khaki?), here are some of the things I love that Jen's boys can do:  read the New York Times, sing the lyrics to Cold Play songs at the age of three, defend The Alamo (finding our sons shooting the "Mexicans" out of the back window of my car may be one of my more shocking preschool moments), tour Boston's MFA, explain the Electoral College, eat Gazpacho soup, narrate the history of the American Revolution, write school reports with vocabulary and punctuation the teacher has to look up, and do all of the Wiggles' dances on cue.  Jen's boys ROCK!!  And it is no wonder at all.  

Happy birthday my dear Jen.  You are changing the world!

xoxo Lisa

Buon compleanno, Jen!

Diamogli le nostre congratulazioni sincere su questa pietra miliare molto importante nella vostra vita. Quello non è di dire che osservate la vostra età, per tali non è il caso. Non lo pensiamo sguardo un il giorno oltre 39. Oh. Siete un giorno oltre 39. Bene, là lo avete. Seriamente, benchè, vogliamo per conoscerlo quanto siete amato, ammirati e siete apprezzati per l'amico e la donna meravigliosi siete. La vostra tolleranza è evidente in tutti che facciate, siete una moglie e una madre straordinaria e una figlia dedicata del dio. Siamo rinforzati dal vostro esempio ed in modo da siamo benedetti per averli nelle nostre vite. Speriamo che il vostro grande giorno sia riempito di tutte le benedizioni ricche meritate. Amore, Tomm, & di Marci; Chris--Il Chapmans--Errrr… significhiamo… il Chapizinis.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM SAN FRANCISCO!

You have no idea how hard it was to lie to you about not knowing if anything was planned for your birthday! Here are ten reasons why I adore my big sis.

10) For always having a soft spot for a certain blind, deaf, black and white mutt.

9) Even though you have more aesthetic sense in you pinky as I do in my entire system you still insist the color of yellow I picked out for your kitchen was better then your choice. Silliness.

8) For being kind and generous. For always thinking of everyone before yourself. For keeping the family connected. For maintaining grace, charm, wit and femininity in the face of raising five boys (just kidding Mike). For instilling goodness in your children. For being true to your convictions and a defender of the faith. For being all this and more - for being Jen!

7) You’re on my cell phone speed dial. ‘nuff said.

6) For always trying to get me to move to Boston. It may or may not ever happen but at least a guy knows he’s wanted.

5) For loving Dad’s reading of the Grinch more today then you did 30 years ago.

4) Thanksgiving 2004. Its 2:00 am and Jen has to drive me to the airport at 5:00. She is folding laundry. Is she concerned about managing the boys and the household on three hours sleep? No. Instead she’s listening to her younger brother and his directionless life. Before the evening is over Jen is exhausted but Peter is resolved to go to art school. That was a major turning point, which has directed the last four years and will forever shape my life.

3) Directly related to reason number 4 . . . let’s not even talk about how many conversations we’ve had about staying the course and having faith. A large part of who I am today is because of your listening ear and council. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have made it through school without you but you certainly made it much easier.

2) Directly related to reason number 3 . . . TEAM PETER!

1) And the number one reason . . . for the wife you will eventually find me! No pressure.

Jen, words can't express my love for you but hopefully you already know and feel it.

-Peter

Our first is 40!!!

Jennifer was a delightful first child. She was almost immediately socially responsive, spoke her first word at 5 months, walked at 8 1/2 months and was loquacious at one year. She had an early fascination for books, and was reading when she went to school a year early. Books would be her recourse when she was ahead of her classmates (and even sometimes her teachers) for years to come. With so many books to read, I was concerned when she would reread some over and over, but the Gifted and Talented teacher assured me that reading a book once was just to get the "story line" whereas rereading a book was a way of learning how to write. It certainly worked for Jen--she, like her father, is definitely a wordsmith. Jennifer has always been a person of great energy, directness and creativity. She was a person who knew her own mind and took charge of her own life. Being raised in a large family she helped to fill her own needs by doing a paper route and working at an upscale furniture store. With deliberation she chose her friends and her activities in school. While being inclusive and considerate of everyone she was not fetoured by those who would take a wrong course. She set the example for her siblings by charting her life to include a mission, college, graduate school and service to family, church and community. Jen always makes family gatherings interesting and fun with her bright mind, her clever wit, her organizational skills and her indefatigable drive. We love her a lot--but what's not to love? Mom and Dad

Jen on Jen

What I love about Jen in no particular order:
- We both hail from the "Jennifer" era, and it's an awesome name :)
- She says things like "I can't sew" and "I'm no Martha Stewart" and then proceeds to make umpteen adorable hand sewn Christmas cards, maple leaf wreaths, mini individual bundt cakes to give away at Christmas, etc. etc.
- She throws awesome birthday parties for her kids and will offer to throw one for mine when I'm at least two weeks late and can't seem to get my act together.
- She is almost as cozy with the White Hen guys as I am. (By the way, great poem Lisa S.)
- She throws her dirty diapers outside for all to see. (By the way, another great poem Lisa S.)
- She says things like "that was the pre-twin Jen" when we all know she is just as amazing if not more so post-twin.
- She is an expert on and actually likes 15th and 16th century Italian religious paintings.
- She is an ardent BYU supporter.
- She has a great appreciation for BBC miniseries.
- My girls say they never get tired of her teaching or listening to her speak and also include her on their list of favorite people.
- She has super awesome kids. (Her husband is pretty awesome too).
- She regularly holds down at least two ward callings and handles them expertly.
- She manages to keep up on the details of my life and makes me feel good by asking about them.
- Her kids listen to NPR with her, but she also lets them play with toy weapons of various shapes and sizes.
- She's always willing to help out a friend in need.
Thanks for being a great friend Jen! You're an awesome 40!

Happy Birthday Beautiful!

Jennifer-

YOU ARE AMAZING!

I love you dearly. You have not only been my older sister, you have been my confidant, my advisor, my life-planner, my advocate, and my friend. Your sense of humor makes me laugh. Your adventurous spirit inspires me to travel the world and have good experiences. Your frequent requests for me to visit your family in Boston has enriched my life and provided wonderful memories for me. Your abilities to sense my sadness and distress and to immediately settle my disappointed heart is uncanny. Your dispensed counsel has been invaluable. You are a woman of great wisdom and knowledge.

My heart is full. I am grateful for your 40 years of life. In those 40 years, you have touched my life and the lives of everyone around you. You have a special way of appreciating people, of recognizing their strengths, of sensing people's needs and filling them, of instilling energy and enthusiasm into life's moments, of sharing your bounty with others and of teaching people through your example. My life and the lives of your friends and acquaintances are richly blessed through you and your sweet offerings on our behalf.

I love you! I love you! I love you!

-Elizabeth